Today I'm preparing to send out a mass email with the following, to let friends and family know what's been going on with me lately. It's a big deal, because it's a big project with lofty goals and I don't want to fail publicly. It's also going to be difficult because so many people say "oh, I thought you were doing XYZ" and XYZ is old news. It's a failed project or XYZ is something I'm not proud of, and don't want to be known for any longer.
People like to not pay attention, to pigeon-hole, to easily explain away what's going on with their relative, friend, aquaintance. People don't want to have to spend time thinking about others, which is sad. Easy answers which are neatly compartamentalized and don't need thought-tending.
I have had so many projects in the last few years that I don't expect everyone to keep up with what I'm doing. However, If you spend any time with me, I always ask "what have you been doing, lately" to everyone I talk to for more than 2 minutes. It helps me keep up with their side projects. I wish everyone would be that thoughtful.
In the last few months I have cleaned out all of my extra activities and extraneous absorptions of time. It's not that these activities weren't important in their own way, but I haven't felt fulfilled in my work or volunteer activities for a very long time. I took this summer to watch, rather than act, I haven't fought for anything that wasn't readily forthcoming, trusting that if I was open, the opportunity I am supposed to chase would present itself. It would be something I'd feel passionately about. It would come with people and personalities who wanted to see it succeed, circumstances that felt right and complimentary events and learning opportunities. It would MATTER.
And it is all happening!
